“Do what scares you.”
A friend of mine casually said this to me a couple of weeks ago, and I really haven’t been able to shake it off. It’s not something new or provocative, but hearing it at the right time and right place really struck a chord in me.
I like the idea of challenging myself and took it up as a personal goal. I was going to do what scared me… but what was I afraid of? It didn’t take me long to conclude that one thing I constantly avoided was: being alone.
Being alone is fucking scary.
I hate being by myself in public places. Whether it’s a grocery store, restaurant or even a dark movie theater–I hate it. It’s just plain uncomfortable. The awkwardness of looking like you’re okay by yourself while everyone else is in a group — hate it!
Recently, I’ve started to wonder if there was just something about me that I couldn’t cope with. Why was being out with myself such a deplorable thing to do? Did I hate myself? No, obviously not — so why did I not like being by myself?
So here’s a challenge to me (and I encourage you to try it with me if you’re also someone who hates being alone) throughout the next month and beyond: go on dates with myself.
I will do the following things with myself at least once:
[ ] eat at a restaurant that I really like
[ ] go to a performance alone (a play, show, etc.) that I know I will thoroughly enjoy
3.31.2012 – bought myself a ticket to see Jiro Dreams of Sushi tonight.NVM – found some friends who also wanted to go.
[ ] whenever someone bails on me with plans, go anyway
[ ] take a trip alone to somewhere I’ve always wanted to visit
[ ] go to a bar alone (a fancy one… not one that I would be mistaken as trying to pick up dudes)
The objective will be to learn a little bit more about myself by breaking out of my comfort zone. It’s also to learn how to handle any situation (solo), meet new people and just break the mold of what a typical night out looks like for me.
Wish me luck!